what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
