hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize