How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize