I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
