Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
