I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
