Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize