Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
