i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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