pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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