i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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