then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
