I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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