We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
