They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
