I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize