I'm drive I can fine osifer
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
