i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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