So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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