Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize