Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
