They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
