I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
