Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize