You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
