I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
