love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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