So drunk, too bad you don't want this
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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