I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
