I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
