Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
