Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
