My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
third nipple confirmed
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
