I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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