I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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