are you so shy because you have an std?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
