Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
