is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
