I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
