kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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