You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
