walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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