insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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