i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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