I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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