I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
