i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
