True but thats because hes a fetus.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
