Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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