a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
