Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
