Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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