I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am one with the molecules
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I have post one night stand depression
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