I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize