Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
